In The cavity

The white moon


Fell into a white well,


The well had no crown ,


to guard the fall!


The snake slowly liked the moon


Filling the fangs with mint


The moon dimmed and melted


The fang had done it all...!


licked the Mooney mint small!!

the dog and his master

I blink...
Look down..
You aren't there
I go back to sleep.


I again look down..
wishing you there..
You aren't there ...
Even if you were there it would not matter!!


I know you cant talk..
Still I look down..Blink
expectantly..
The droopy look of your eyes
I am going to miss the shiny tail
I blink ..
close my eyes eternally

BLOOD!

Thicker than water ...

Slower than a stream



Takes a course,


in the mind...


heavier than a dream


keeps us ticking and living


filling our fleshes with a sheen...


our veins with a reason


our hearts with a joy


of living.


Spilled over..


Restless bashes;


countless facades...


At times a joyful living

Spilled over to earn a rightful living


Sweet and sour;


Bitter and fragrant-


Our blood


the elixir for human body

But you will never be there...

some times I feel like a sad song...like I am all alone..Without you
lyrics by John Denver

What is life for a child without a father...and what is life for a girl when her hero is not around..the first hero of her life on whose shoulders she would go of to sleep free from a world of frets...

life is all about age and age catching up and how many scores did you make and how many sores did you heal..or how many blows did you blow...and how much of a mint were you your lifetime...some get a life time achievement award and life goes on and on 

Today I watched a video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN0WCTFw7L4&noredirect=1 its by an artist named Yiruma...and the music is soft and nice...sort of a music that can actually make you retrospect your thoughts... a music that can make you feel a void.... that's what I felt..

Six years may be seven now...Its really difficult to know you shall never ever ever come back...when I close my eyes I think of you..sometimes tvideo to remind me of the precious jewel I have...

I dont' think people reading this too will ever forget the value of the in-comparable jewel either!!

he images are hazy..its like you were never there...like you will never be there as my life moves from one threshold to another...nor shall we ever sing do..re ..me like madness..and laugh like a madman with a mad child..nor shall we go on the rickshaws singing Christmas carols at the pitch of our voices, on Christmas eve through free school street...nor shall you ever say hop..two three four in and effort to make me walk faster when my legs ache..and nor shall you stand back as I put my new dress on...But that's life..life and its so strange.. unpredictable vagaries.. sometimes I just cannot recall the times we spent together..and this video..this stupid video...is so sad..yet its so beautiful..that I am glad shes here..and I hope to be with her through her best and worst..I guess I didn't need this

Thoughts and Memories

I sat on a bus..

My route to a place unknown!

the sweltereing heat....

Abead of sweat adorned my brow

The driver cussed!

The child cried

An old man coughed,

A woman's trinket jangled

A meaningless murmur...

I look outside

The sun glares back

The sky was naked ...

Not a single cloud to clothe it!!

The peddler pushed flies off his pineapples

An auto-man bumped into the car driver

the spat and hissed 

Pedstrian scampered across the road

Little scraps of paper and trash:

kissed and danced on the road,

the only happy things around

I felt void...

void of Thoughts..

I just stared...!!

Life can be easily encapsulated by the aid of memories...that is why we have memoirs..autobiographies...biographies...strange what memories can do...cry with the happiness..or laugh till you feel your lungs will burst..or cry and cry so hard that you are all alone on a mountain top or on the top of a building and there is no one to hear you...!...or..make you feel pensive..or childlike...or vulnerable and sweet....memories and their vagaries!!

life is so beautiful when you sit down with your friends..those that have grown up with you or those that you met you as your moved up in life....and you chat...and jabber about days bygone..or when you turn in to a restrospecting recluse...

But what if you compartmentalise your memories..you just think about times if you were really a part of incidents that you may have lived..what if you are reminded you have been a part of times by friends..and people who have been and are a part of you life..!

strange thoughts...peculiar too...

just another day.....

Sometimes it feels so lovely to stare at the sky..just so blankly...and i look at the deep depth of blue..and then a thousand mixed thoughts just go pop in your head and .....its like tiny wires and mesh....all forming a hotch-potch in your brain...and slowly as I start analyzing things...like how I mistakenly deleted one of my favorite blogs....
how life is beautiful even in jeopardy...like how life is just so drab even when its supposed to be simple....and how stupid we were when we so desparately desired to grow..up and eventually when you do..you realise growing up is an illusion....of so many promises being made to "when i will grow up..........." and when you do you realise you are miles away from your promises...what were then promises to self take years of working and yearning.....
and when you dream with your eyes wide open and the sense of self belief and conviction is so high you could take on the world full on...
instead you blink your eyes...done enough of staring at the depth of blue..above..you mentally gear up for the 'just another day' of your life
"i wonder y we died to grow up and die each day as grown ups"

WRATH

With blood that fumes
and the soul that rhumes
it all comes gushing
Like water from a dam
Like blood to the brain
Black...strong...powerful
With the force and desire to destroy
Engulfing all that comes its way
Like Khamsin-
Soft lovely and that turns violent...
Like the watered frenzy
The calm bed rooted
Swirling like a huge spout
Etching up to the sky...
all life it does destroy
Tranquility never an envoy
Wrath that Kills
Taking life like a Tollers swill!!

Dreams Unfolded

With arms wide open
all it needs is a harbour
Myriad Souls
that rave and rant
All they need is rest
For within my bosom lies the wish
To fly and soar
Above the cloudy sky..
..The Ocean and the mountains
Hills and Plains...
With a heartfelt love
all care free..
no spite no disdain
Every night
As I stare at the starry sky
Each star unfolds to me my dreams
And the moon tells to bide by its sheen
Small contours of dreams
each dreams mystically craves
Unfolding
Oh! Dreams Unfolded

Not Done

I lay on the bed..

The night blinked back at me 

Mockingly..

I draw the blinds shut..

Yet the darkness stares

The shadows dance on the ceiling..

And the mind plays its game..

The hurling storms and

the Crying sores

The hurting eyes..

The khol running down...

The laughter of the child...

The smell of wild lilies...

The taste of honey...

all blend in a cacophony

of multitudinous desire

the pillow bursts like a cloud

of dreams..

of this frayed chest of chestnut brown

and a serpent guards the lock...

the chest is frayed and old

may be holding pirates

treasures and tales manifold

My pupils are ablaze...

Glazing of gold

The ceiling dances again washed in milky sun

The story was not fully done..

and the morning has just Begun

Death

Its so certain of coming...yet I pray for immortality and youth and an impossible toghetherness of a lifetime

Its so true that your loved ones will leave you one day, no matter how hard you hold on to them, however, when the reality of their leaving really hits your face; its like a bolt from the blue...no I dont say I am mentally strong to take it.. or that I am capable to handle it enough...or that I shall be strong and not miss you...I'll try and fail like every other normal human being and it is only that I chose to shed my tears at the dark sky ....

no...I know that you will no more be there when I shall wait alone on a dark cold night for the vehicle to carry me home..nor will you ever say I must carry extra cash....or that you shall encourage me for an ice-cream on a freezing winter night...or settle a fallen bang...or admire my new dress..nor will you be there when I shall try reaching places....I shall no more have to run errands for you..or care for your medicine...or even get to see your smiling face as I return from work or anxiety at my trouble...the usual chatter, songs we sang and banter....Nor shall you ever be able to teach me how to dance...or your reading the morning paper...and me just waiting for you to be done with its reading...

The time I was losing you I could not even come to terms with it and when I did I just could not realize you were gone..and as you lay on your last journey so calm..I prayed you find a better home...

I know you can't read what I have written..but I think it is time to make peace with the fact that you will never be there around in person.

I am selfish and you fail to see

I say I'm your guardian angel 
and I shall protect you..
I say I shall be there for you..
so slowly you rely on me..
I say I love you for ever so..
slowly you look up to me....
I say...
I shall never let you down....
so that you can always wait for me....
but all I want.....is to clip your wings...
to clip your dreams..so that
When your inhibitions are Shed 
and you are weak...
In this weakness on me alone you shall rely...
no I do not want you to fly..
just to be an extension of My whims..
and extension of Me 
My Reflective Personality








May, 02,2010

Pensive

I am pensive
not so blase....
the red ink has been spilled 
on the crisp white paper...
and I do not want to clean it....
let the red take its course...
deep...lines running across
...falling short of movement...
is it blood!!!
I think for a fraction...
what wonders can red lines do..
keep you living...
ticking ...thinking.
...stagnating
...


05TH MAY , 2010

night-hour rushed in

when sleep eludes and clutters clear...all I have is the ink to smear....

Its been almost a week and I see night has been playing a role reversal for me...my night is turning into my day...the hour passing by with the silent ticking of the clock...during the day I don't even notice that the clock makes a ticking sound...or that the fan makes its own noise of cutting the air quick and random...even the curtain flapping becomes so prominent..the pillow falling off with a thud...nights were meant to mean the end of a days tiring and toiling...nights were meant to be calm dark and silent.. work..all rest...

The techie age has changed it all for us weirdly ...when sleep eludes mobile phones come so handy..and you can tune in to your favourite FM station and listen to all the songs being played at behest...or else you can listen to your own playlist in your phone...sometimes you wonder..they don't make music like before...where words had a soulful meaning to them....
anyway..as I blinked away into the blank..bland dark of my ceiling...my earphones plugged to my ears and my phones clutched in my hand...my thoughts weirdly drifted to the guys who spend their days sleeping and nights sleeping answering phone call of customers in the 'Wild west'...
Somehow it was Vroom's frustration....or Bhagat's own at the B.P.O despair..that Bhagat created Vroom to voice his own . Here is what Vroom said...
"I am angry because everyday, I see some of the world's strongest and smartest people in my country. I see all this potential, yet it is all getting wasted. An entire generation up all night, providing crutches to....run their lives. And then big companies come and convince us with their advertising to value crap we don't need, do jobs we hate so that we can buy stuff.....They call it youth culture,,,,Is this what they think youth is about? Two generations ago, the youth got this country free. ..that was something meaningful....We have been reduced to a high spending demographic. The only youth power they care about is our spending power...Meanwhile bad bosses . ....suck the life blood out of our country's most productive generations." Mr. Bhagat..you'r one of my favourite writers and after your book...my thoughts had words..!!


I dont blame my loss of sleep to the Call-centre disorder...yet after having written this I feel better...
Cheers to all my friends who spend nights working and days sleeping..welcome to the world of hormonal dysfunction. I bet you people aren't even aware of that...!!


I can now sleep peacefully...a weeks sleepless night always thinking of friends who worked and live to appease...Cheers to your labour..

Solace

I found solace in loneliness
Today;
The silence that was once eerie
Today is a calm rendition
Where thoughts can breed
and multiply...
Conjugation of desires
and Dreams


Silence today beckons me
To reach out ...
To my Million Dreams
Dreams Unfulfilled
I'm trying hard
The depth of silence soothes
Distraught nerves
Ever so afraid of death
Today I'm not
The ever-lasting Silence of Death
Holds promises of peace against Turmoil.

Endeavour

The past all know 
Is imbued with troubles
Hence Epoch by Epoch
Period by Period
The new generation clamps fear
To step forward....
Many zealots do drop by the herd
Yet many are undaunted
Not bound by any
Superstition or saga
Undaunted to foray into
The Unknown future
Trusting and hoping 
Their Endeavour!